PRESENT THE MANSON FAMILY ENVIRONMENTAL HATE LIST!
SANDY AND SQUEAKY SAY...
"IF YOU ARE ONE OF THE SAPS ON DA LIST, OR IF YOUSE IS GUILY OF ANY OF THE THINGS LISTED,
YA HAD BETTER WATCH OUT, A MESSY 'OFFING' COULD BE WINGING IT'S WAY TO YOU!"
"BUT REMEMBER, EVEN AS WE ARE PUTTING BULLETS BETWEEN YAR EYES AND PLUNGING SHARP THINGS INTO YAR BOD..."
"WE ONLY WANNA SAVE DA WORLD, AND WE LOVE YOU TOO!"
"NOW DAT OUR CONSCIENCE IS CLEAR, HAVE A LOOK AT OUR LIST! HOPE YA AIN'T ONE OF DA PEOPLE WE HATE!"
1. WE WANNA SAVE THE WORLD FROM POLLUTION, SO IF YOU AREN'T HELPING, YOU IS DEAD MEAT!
2. AND IF YOU ARE IN AN ENVIRONMENTAL GROUP, YOU IS PROBABLY A RIVAL OF OURS, WE WILL KILL YOU!
3. ALL CAR DRIVERS ARE CREATING POLLUTION FROM EXHAUST FUMES! ALL CARS WILL BE TRASHED AND THE DRIVERS SHOT! (WITH LEAD-FREE BULLETS, OF COURSE.)
4. THIS DOESN'T COUNT FOR DUNE BUGGIES, COZ CHARLIE HAS GOT ONE AND WE CAN'T KILL HIM CAN WE?
5. WE WILL STAB ANYONE WHO USES SPRAYCANS AND DEODORANTS.
6. IF YA CAN'T HANDLE LIVING WITHOUT BASIC HYGENE (LIKE NO DEODORANTS) TRY LIVING IN A PLACE LIKE SPAHN RANCH, WITH NO RUNNING WATER OR TOILETS! YOU'LL SMELL OUR ASSASSINS BEFORE YA SEE EM'!
7. WE WILL ALSO BLOW UP, SHOOT AND MAIM ANY OF YOU SAPS WHO DON'T LIKE SMALL ANIMALS!
8. WE BOTH HATE LITTER, AND IF ANY OF US SEE YA DROPPIN IT, WE'RE GONNA DROP YOU INTO A MAKESHIFT GRAVEHOLE!
9. WE WORRY A LOT ABOUT CHEMICALS GETTING MANUFACTURED AND USED, ALTHOUGH WE DON'T MOAN IF THE CHEMICALS IN QUESTION ARE SPEED AND LSD!
10. ANYONE WHO HAS EVER HARMED A TREE WILL BE HUNG FROM ONE.
11. AND IF DA BRANCH YAR HANGING ON SNAPS, WE'LL SHOOT YOUR FRIENDS AN' FAMILY!
12. WE HATE SAPS WHO DON'T HAVE PLANTS AND FLOWERS. WE LIKE GROWING PLANTS, THEY GROW REALLY COOL IF YA HAVE A FEW CORPSES OF PEOPLE YOU HATE UNDER DA SOIL!
13. WE HATE FAT POLITICAL DUDES USING MILITARY HARDWARE LIKE BOMBERS, TANKS AND BATTLESHIPS ON CRAPPY NON-USA COUNTRIES. MAINLY COZ WE'RE JEALOUS! IMAGINE THE AMOUNT OF PIGS CHARLIE AND US COULD WASTE IN A TANK!
14. WE HATE RICH PEOPLE! COZ WE NEVER HAVE ENOUGH DOUGH TO BUY ALL DA KNIVES AND STABBY THINGS THAT WE NEED!
15. WE HATE ATOMIC ENERGY! WHY WASTE ALL DAT URANIUM ON LIGHTING AND HEATING CRUD PIG HOUSES? THEY SHOULD JUST MAKE LOADS OF NUKE BOMBS AND FIRE EM' AT PEOPLE WE HATE!
16. WE HATE SCUMBAGS DAT THINK THAT US AND DA OTHER FOLLOWERS IS CALLED DA FAMILY! ALTHOUGH OUR CULT AIN'T ALL DAT DIFFERENT FROM REGULAR FAMILY: WE ALL HATE EACH OTHER!
17. WE HATE DA WAY AMERICA IS GOVERNED! THE USA SHOULD BE A MONARCHY DAT RULES DA WHOLE DAMN GLOBE, WITH A KING IN KOMMAND! AS IT HAPPENS WE HAVE A COOL CANDIDATE FOR KING OF DA USA AND EARTH: OUR BOSS, CHARLIE! DIS IS BECAUSE OF HIS GOOD LEADERSHIP SKILLS, HE CARES ABOUT DA PLANET AND THAT IF CHUCK WAS KING HE WOULD MAKE US HIS PRINCESS CONCUBINE ADVISORS!
18. WE SUPER-HATE PEOPLE WHO LIKE MOVIES, COZ NO-ONE HAS EVER MADE A MOVIE ABOUT US! ANY MOVIE STUDIO WANTING TO MAKE A MOVIE STARRING TWO HOT REDHEADED PSYCHOPATHS WHO HATE EVERYTHING, JUST CONTACT CHARLIE!
19. WE DO LIKE BABIES, WOULDN'T IT BE GOOD TO RAISE A SPROG FREE FROM DA EVILS OF SOCIETY, BUT WE HATE IT WHEN DA LITTLE SCUMBAGS CRAP, PUKE AND WHINE ALL DAY! DATS WHEN WE WOULD FEED EM' TO OUR PET DOLPHIN!
20. CONTRARY TO POPULAR OPINION, WE DO NOT HATE PEOPLES BECAUSE OF ANY COLOUR, RACE OR CREED, WE EQUALLY HATE EVERYONE AND OURSELVES!
21. WE HATE DA COP PIG AUTHORITIES DAT ARE HASSLING CHARLIE IN PRISON! IF THEY LET HIM OUT WE WOULDN'T HAVE TO BUY HIM PHONE CARDS ALL DA TIME OR GET OGGLED AND DROOLED AT BY ALL DOSE HOODS IN DA SLAMMER!
22. AND WE HATE DA HOODS IN DA SLAMMER TOO!
24. WE HATE CRAP HACKSAW BLADES DAT SNAP WHEN YOU IS TRYING TO SAW SOME PIGGIE'S LEG OFF!
25. WE HATE EVIL PRESIDENT BUSH...HE IS A HUGE CHRISTIAN GIMP! (ALTHOUGH WE DO APPROVE OF HIS WAR-MONGERING!)
26. WE MEGA-HATE DA FAGASS ANTI-GUN LOBBY! WHAT DA HELL IS WRONG WIF AN AMERICAN CITIZEN WANTING TO BRADISH AN M60 MACHINE GUN FOR SELF DEFENCE? EVERYONE SHOULD FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF TED NUGENT AND CARRY AN AUTOMATIC WEAPON IN CASE YA RUN INTO ANY DEERS (OR HUMANS) NEEDIN' GUNNED DOWN!
27. WE HATE CRAPPY RECORD COMPANIES WHO WONT GIVE US CASH FOR DOSE COOL RECORDS WE MADE IN DA BEACH BOY'S STUDIO! NOBODY WANTS TO BUY EM ANYWAYS, DATS JUST COZ NO ONE APPRECIATES WIND REED FLUTE AND TAMBORINE MUZIC!
28. AND WE HATE ALL NON-HIPPY MUSIC LISTENERS TOO!
29. WE HATE MEGA-RICH PIGGIES MICROSOFT AND BILL GATES, WE IS SO POOR WE HAS BEEN WEARING THE SAME TATTY OUTFITS SINCE 1967!
30. WE HATE THE FACT DAT WE HAD TO SHAVE OUR HAIR OFF JUST COZ CHARLIE DONE IT! CHARLIE LOOKED SPOOKY, WHILE WE JUST LOOKED STOOPID! AND IT TOOK US AGES TO GROW BACK OUR FAB HAIR! ALSO DOSE "X" TATTOOS AREN'T MUCH FUN EITHER!
31. WE HATE IT WHEN YOU IS STABBIN' SOME PIGGIE AND HIS GORY RED LIQUIDS SQUIRT ALL OVER YAR NEW TIE-DYE SHIRT, BUMMER!
32. ...OR WHEN DA VICTIMS FLAILING ARMS RIP YAR BRA OFF! NOW DAT IS EMBARRASSING!
33. WE ULTRA-HATE DA MARLYN MANSON RIP-OFF FAG! THIS PRANCING TURD IS BRINGING THE GOOD NAME OF OUR BOSS INTO SERIOUS DISREPUTE, ZOINKS! I MEAN, IMAGINE IF CHARLIE HAD BEEN WEARING ALL DAT GIMP LEATHER OUTFITS AND WHITE CORPSE-PAINT BACK IN 1969! WE WOULDA LYNCHED HIM!
THOSE LOVELY GIRLS SANDY AND SQUEAKY WILL ADD MORE VICTIMS AND THINGS SOON!
...OR WHENEVER THEY GET EVEN MORE INSANE AND FIND MORE STUFF THEY HATE!
All images, characters and styles contained here are owned by Curt Sibling & Bad Trip Comics (c)2002.